The following is a bit of wildly imaginative alternative fiction based on certain characters from the Xenaverse. It is not meant to infringe on anyone else's rights. If you don't agree or disapprove, please go read something else.
It sprung up out of the blue, when I started asking the question, "How come Gabrielle didn't have any bite marks?" Try and pretend it's just an alternate universe.
Oh, there is a sex scene between two women. So that makes this story NC17
Besides, I wanted to prove that I could so write a piece with an ending.
His voice tickled her ear, "She's so beautiful when she sleeps, isn't she?" he murmured. The bard casually shrugged off his hand and stood up, her gaze never leaving the still form of the warrior princess. The firelight highlighted the bard's skin, making it golden and red. She held her staff firmly, but did not lean into it.
"What are *you* doing here?" she asked very quietly, keeping her voice low in timbre. She had no wish to awaken the sleeping warrior. For once, Xena had drifted asleep before her. Gabrielle had taken much pleasure in watching the warrior surrender to the night. Even in sleep there was a suppleness to Xena's movements. It was intoxicating.
The god of war almost giggled, "I've come to tell you something." His voice rippled through the night, too loud for Gabrielle's ears.
"Hush you!" she whispered (fiercely). "Let her rest." The bard pointed with her staff. It had been a long day.
The god snorted, "Whatever." He stepped close to Gabrielle, once again laying his hand upon her shoulder. "I know something about you." he mocked in a whispered sing song voice. His finger trailed a blaze of fire across the diagonal of her shoulder. She didn't even twitch. "Something very interesting." He emphasized the word interesting with a quick kiss to that same shoulder.
"If you don't stop that I will," the bard began. Her whispered voice took on a strange edge.
"You'll what bard? What will you do? hmm." Ares licked his lips and laughed in her ear. "That is the interesting part isn't it. What you can do." He caught her ear in a sensuous nibble. Gabrielle pulled away.
"Ares." Her voices was a low warning growl. "I'll warn you only once."
"You are spoiling my fun here." His voice became serious. "I know who your daddy is, Gabrielle."
The bard laughed, "so do I. Herodotus. No trick there."
"No, I mean your father." He mocked her again.
Gabrielle sighed, "My father is Herodotus. You can ask my mother."
"Ach, don't lie to me girl."
Gabrielle smiled into the night, "who's lying? I'm certainly not." Her teeth were whiter than the moonlight, which they reflected. "He is my father."
"Fine then," Ares spoke in frustration, "I know who your sire is."
Gabrielle's voice was neutral, "Oh."
"Too bad his little girl can't hold her wine." the god's efforts at getting a rise out of the bard failed again. He tried another method, "Too bad he didn't know who you were. Of course, I wonder what would have happened if you'd actually tasted of his blood. Now that would have been kinky."
"You are boring me Ares." but Gabrielle didn't move.
Ares touched her neck softly. "Not a mark on you. Did she ever ask? No one even thought to ask did they? Simply assumed." He covered her neck with a kiss. "Not so much as a nibble."
The staff moved so quickly, Ares never even saw it coming. He groaned into the ground, his hands covering that area that had been assaulted. Gabrielle didn't even bother to look back. "I warned you."
He looked up at her in amazement. His voice was a little shaky, "How long do you think you can hide it?" Gabrielle failed to answer. He grimaced, this girl was one tough nut. Another tact, "She was your first blood wasn't she?"
Gabrielle sighed and looked around, "Your point?"
"You are no longer blood innocent. You can't tell me you don't feel it."
"I've never. . ."
"Ahah, don't lie. You've killed. I saw you hunt while she was away."
"You mistake me. I've never laid claim on Xena. She was free as soon as it was over. Plus, hunt or no, I've never killed a human being."
The god grimaced, "No, you just beat the shit out of them."
"If they don't like it, they shouldn't attack me. I try to be careful. I don't want to hurt them."
"Liar."
Gabrielle leaned down and stared into the god of war's eyes, "Hardly. You simply don't know what the truth is when you see it." She flicked his collar, "Or else you try to make it sound worse than it is."
"You want her."
"True. But since I can't have her, it doesn't matter."
"Can't have her? Can't have her. Damn it, you are killing her, just a surely as if you have sucked the life out of her."
"Oh give me a break." Gabrielle shoved against the god, toppling him to the ground.
"Haven't you noticed?" The god spoke quickly, "She's trying to live up to your standards. She doesn't move as quickly because she's trying not to kill. She gets hurt more often because she's busy saving lives. She is trying to be "Nice." For what?" He poked back at her, "For you. You've got to give her a break from being miss goody two shoes. She can't go on like this. You have to take her or let her take you or something."
"What?"
"Oh give me a break." The god mocked. "You know what I mean." His voice was almost a snarl. "You've got to give her a space where she doesn't always have to be nice all the time. Or we'll lose her." The god grabbed Gabrielle's shoulder and lifted himself up. "There has to be a balance. Which, apparently, unlike your father, you have discovered."
"I told you, he is NOT my father."
"Fine, your sire." Ares brushed the dirt off of pants. "You have to give Xena a fighting chance." Then he stopped, looked at Gabrielle and grinned evilly, "Besides, I know you like to watch her, even though it shocks you. Or maybe, it just stirs you up, hmm." He reached for her and had his hand slapped, "Ow!"
"Ares, if you have nothing useful to say you might as well go away."
"Damn it, I am saying something useful. Save her. Save her before she loses her edge and gets herself killed. Quit playing nice. Good doesn't always mean Nice. You should know that very well now."
"I won't force myself on her."
"Bloody Hell."
"But I will think about it."
Ares nodded. "You do that. You'll see I'm right." He started to leave, then turned around, "I'll make a bargain with you."
"What."
"If you take care of this problem, I'll stay out of your hair for three months. It will give you a . . .nice. . honeymoon.
"A year."
"Four months."
"Ten."
"Five"
"Nine"
"Six"
"Eight"
"Deal." They shook hands solemnly. "You do what you have to do to give her that edge again. I won't expect Warlord material, just battle effectiveness." He leaned forward, "If it makes you feel any better, I like to watch too." Then he vanished in a sprinkle of red light.
Gabrielle sat down with shaky legs, her staff crooked in her arms, and wept into her palms.
Xena rolled sleepily away from the direction of the bard's quiet weeping with a sigh and opened her eyes.
Xena shook Gabrielle awake the next morning. The bard woke up blearily, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm awake. I'm awake." The redhead rubbed the crust of sleep from her eyes and yawned into the morning. It felt earlier than ever. She took a deep breath and inhaled the scent of breakfast cooking. She yawned and talked at the same time, "Oh, that smells good."
Xena smiled easily at the bard, "I thought you might need a little something to get the morning started." Her blue eyes gleamed.
Gabrielle returned the warrior's smile and stretched, "Thanks. I'm going to go tidy up and then I'll be ready to whatever."
Xena nodded and uncrouched. "I'll see you in a bit then." Then she turned away from the bard and the smile left her eyes.
The bard came back to a cleaned up camp. A stack of wood was placed by the fire. Her bedding was rolled, but not on Argo. She raised her eyebrows in a question. Xena handed her some breakfast. "A messenger came by while you were away. I have to go."
"You're leaving me behind?" Gabrielle choked out. "I hate when you leave me behind." The bard's expression indicated that she spoke the truth.
"I'm sorry but this is important, and much as I would love to have you there,"
"You have to go alone." Gabrielle finished for her. "I know the drill. Go and save the world. I'll be safe here at the camp, etcetera and so on." Gabrielle put her plate down and quickly hugged her friend. "Be careful."
"I always am." Xena's expression was serious. She touched the bard's cheek gently. "I'll see you in a day or two."
Gabrielle nodded unhappily. The warrior strode away quickly, hopped on Argo, turned and gave Gabrielle a wave, and then was off before the bard could think to ask where she was going. Gabrielle watched them ride away until she couldn't see them anymore. Then she wilted to the ground and gave into another fit of tears.
It had become a ritual. She no longer resisted the impulse, the drive that took over, sometimes almost painfully. It depended on how long it had been since she'd last made a hunt. She blew a small breath of air out as she tied back her hair until it was off her shoulders and away from her face. She stripped and stared out at the water. She always placed her clothes and staff by whatever body of water was handy to avoid suspicion in case Xena came back unexpectedly. But Xena was fairly predictable, if she said it would take a day or two, it would take a day or two. But that meant wasting no time.
Gabrielle stretched and felt the muscles of her body respond pleasingly. Her bare feet curved against the already warming rock. She spoke into the wind and let it carry her message to the wilds, "Today is the day of the hunt. Thank you for your life. Thank you for my life. What I gather today I will treat with respect. Who shall be my hunt?" She waited quietly, listening. Sometimes there was no response and she really did have to quest for her prey. Sometimes it was an old hare or some wounded animal who was tired of life. Sometimes it was simply one who liked the challenge.
Today it was a small deer. It raised its head in greeting then skittered away into the woods. A challenge then. Gabrielle flipped the knife in her hand, caught it, laughed wildly and loped after the creature.
The hunt was a thing of beauty. It was perfect. It neither lasted too long nor did it end too short. Gabrielle's body became sleek with sweat, her sweet laughter rang in the air. If one were listening in the distance one would have thought she was chasing a lover, so sweet was the sound, but Xena wasn't listening in the distance. She was following, oh so carefully, staying downwind and ever so silent. She began to appreciate the Amazon's method of using the trees as passageways. It was a good thing (and bad thing) that Gabrielle was so focused (didn't she know that could get her killed! Xena was going to have to talk to her about that.) that she didn't notice the rustle of the leaves.
The capture of the deer went smoothly. Gabrielle's arms wrapped around it like it was a pet and she broke its neck in one swift move, then sliced the neck with one stroke. Even in the hunt Gabrielle was merciful, gentle. She whispered a thank you and safe passage into its ears. Then she began to drink.
The bard always wept at this part, salty tears mixing with blood. This was her shame. This was her need. This was her joy. She could only be grateful it wasn't an every day thing. Gods help her if it had been. Blood pooled into her hand. Some spilled upon the ground. When finished she began her second least favorite part of the hunt. Gutting and cleaning the animal. Each act was an apology and a prayer, but she kept her promise of respect, treating the creature with a deep tenderness. Those parts she could not take, she left for the wild others. Afterwards she went back to camp.
Gabrielle never understood why Artemis allowed her to be chosen as queen of the Amazons. Even when she'd accepted the mask on that horrible day, she'd felt terribly unworthy. If any had known her secret. . . . Gabrielle couldn't bear to think that far. She only knew the consequences would be dire, so she buried that part of herself, deep and deeper still. It had been sheer good fortune that her mind had been so occupied with rescuing Xena, that the subject never came up, especially when Xena had taken over, gods help her.
Gabrielle sighed and washed her body of the sweat and blood. The water felt good against her skin and she dipped herself down, letting the water cover her head. She looked up at the sky through the wet and thought about the possibility of just staying under and never going back up. Life was too strong in her though, she always gave up that thought as soon as her lungs clamored for breath. She burst forth from the water, splashing noisily up the embankment. droplets skimmed freely down her skin following gravity's trail. She brushed wet hair back with both her hands and wrung the water out.
Xena, still hidden from easy view, watched as the young woman let the wind do the drying. The warrior's pulse quickened at the sight. Ever since the time she'd fought for the ambrosia in Gabrielle's body, Xena had known there was a secret to the bard's soul. That had not surprised her. Everyone had secrets. But it was the guilt that had alerted her to the notion that not all was as it should be.
At first, Xena thought it was about her. She chuckled silently at her egotism. It had been different after "the kiss." What had simply been camaraderie became something deeper, more meaningful, but when Xena pressed (and it was a very (gentle) pressure) to expand their relationship, Gabrielle had been surprisingly reluctant. Though Xena had known to the depth of her bones that the bard needed her, as much as she needed Gabrielle. Still she respected the distance the redhead placed between them while craving each sweet touch and familiarity that the bard allowed. She'd thought that perhaps her past had indeed been too much for the bard, no matter how much she might say otherwise. Now Xena knew different.
The bard had a sorrow and a grace of her own. Even in darkness she was light. Even in the depth of blood lust she was kind. Xena shook her head. She'd never seen another hunter thank the prey for its life. Such respect for life even in Gabrielle's need. And who knew how wild she was. Such passion. No wonder Artemis loved her. Xena grinned at herself and thought, "No wonder *I* love her."
Gabrielle left her clothes to where they were piled and picked up her staff. She moved a little further up to the clearing where Xena had practiced her moves the last night. Then, in her nakedness, the redhead began her forms. It seemed to Xena that the young woman was even sleeker in her movements than she recalled. In the warrior's mind a brief memory flashed. She had commented once to herself about those very changes she'd noticed. They had almost been abrupt, yet not. She had thought them only the logical outcome of all that walking.
And hadn't Gabrielle been wounded, when she'd carried Xena to her death in the mountains. Where had those wounds been when Xena returned? Now the warrior wondered why she'd not thought to question that before.
Xena wasn't quite sure why she felt better knowing that Gabrielle could kill. Perhaps it was because she knew the bard simply chose not to or perhaps it was because now she knew that the bard understood exactly what the warrior princess felt (or if not exactly, close to). All this time, she'd thought the bard's comforting words as brought on by innocence, but it was knowledge that led Gabrielle to speak. And if she chose to die rather than kill, it was truly her ethics and not her ignorance. Suddenly, Gabrielle was an equal in Xena's eyes.
It was pleasurable to watch her bard in motion, almost orgasmic. Xena wondered if this was how Gabrielle felt. Perhaps. She remembered the time she'd caught a look on the bard's face. It had been just after she'd killed a man in self defense. She remembered thinking that Gabrielle had almost looked liked she'd enjoyed his death. Xena had denied those thoughts, cast them out as unworthy. Now she wondered.
Gabrielle finished her deadly dance and returned to the waterside. She dropped the staff and dived again. This time there was no splash. Xena took that time to move away, suspecting that Gabrielle would soon be heading back to the campsite.
There was still some rawish meat, after Gabrielle selected the portions to cook and to jerk. She'd cubed those portions she intended to eat very very rare and had placed them in a bowl filled with a bit of port. Funny, but after a hunt, she was never as hungry for dinner as she usually was. The small portion would take care of her need to rend something with her teeth, yet be filling enough. The cooked portions would, along with some supplementary roots and seasons, be for breakfast. Gabrielle shuddered at the thought of what her life would be like if she could only eat raw meat. Thank the gods she liked vegetables too. In fact, some veggies would be nice for tonight. She chopped up a root or two and combined it with the port and meat. She added variety to her list of things to be grateful for.
Gabrielle prepared for the night by starting the fire and unrolling her bedding. She fetched some parchment and a quill, and leaned against an available log. Then she began one of her most endearing and annoying habits. She thought out loud.
Today's topic, obviously, was what to do about her current situation. She posited both for and against. She swore at Ares and then at herself. She admitted her love for Xena and her reasons for *Not* pursuing. Every single worse case scenario came to mind and out of her mouth. Her worst fear was that Xena would find out, be disgusted, and want nothing to do with her. Her second worst fear was that Xena would never find out and thus never know how much she was *wanted* and loved by Gabrielle and that they would never ever be able to. . . Gabrielle turned her head when she thought she heard a noise, then shrugged it off. Her third worst fear had to do with the Amazons and getting hunted down, but that didn't really play into this.
In a way Ares was right, there was such a thing as too nice and Xena couldn't afford it. Not after having been a warlord and certainly not when she was trying to correct things. Yet Xena couldn't just be judge, jury and executioner, but then again she had terrific instincts and it seemed she, usually, always did what she believed was right. That was one of the things Gabrielle admired about Xena. So, maybe it was just a case of reminding Xena that it was okay to follow through on instinct, rather than going through a whole seduction scene. yeah. That could work. Maybe with the right story, a sort of lesson about listening and following through on instinct Xena would get the message. That wouldn't be too manipulative and it would give Xena the choice. She deserved that.
Now all Gabrielle had to do was think of the right story. That was definitely something she could do. She ate her dinner as she thought, letting her fangs settle deep into the meat and tearing and chewing quite passionately. The vegetables suffered the same fate and the bard ended up with a very happy stomach.
It was well into the evening. Apollo was preparing his final descent and causing the clouds to color spectacularly. Gabrielle did think of an appropriate story, the one about the kite; how Xena had followed through on an intuition and things had worked out right. That would work. The fire snapped and crackled, filling the night with its joyful light.
Gabrielle inhaled the scents of the evening deeply and smiled when she caught a faint waft of a familiar scent. Xena. The bard licked her teeth and smiled in a sultry way. Even miles away, her scent still lingered in the camp. Of course that might be because every time she went away Gabrielle would snag any dirty clothes, with the explanation that she was going to clean them. Somehow she always forgot to clean at least one of those shifts. The others she usually let dry during the day and then folded and covered them neatly for the next day..
Gabrielle pulled the scent filled shift close and hugged it to her. Her hazel eyes seemed feral in the light of the fire. She placed the shift by her bedding, smoldered the fire and lay down for the night. It was early, but perhaps by sleeping, Xena would arrive that much quicker.
The next morning Gabrielle woke abruptly. She listened carefully before opening her eyes and taking stock of her situation. Xena was still gone. With a sigh, Gabrielle got arose to the dawn.
She didn't have long to wait though. Xena arrived back at camp, just as Gabrielle was cleaning up the site. The warrior woman leisurely hopped of the butter colored mare and strode towards Gabrielle. She gave the bard a smile and a hug.
"How was your day yesterday?"
Gabrielle shrugged. "Okay, Uneventful, I missed you." The bard got a good squeeze for that one.
"I missed you too. Any breakfast left?"
Gabrielle grimaced in embarrassment, "uhm sorry. There's some panbread and a little filling I made for lunch, if you'd like."
"That will work." Xena looked around carefully, her eyes narrowed in thought. "Gabrielle?"
"Hmmm?"
"Would you feel to terrible about staying another day here? I'd like to give Argo a rest and maybe set a few snares and build up our supplies. We were running a little low."
Gabrielle felt a little flutter of consternation. She could only hope she hadn't added so much that Xena would be suspicious. Still she shrugged, "Sure. I've got a few things I want to get written down anyway. No problem. Besides, I forgot to wash one of your shifts." Gabrielle got squeezed again and then released.
"Great. Now where is that panbread."
The day really was uneventful, for Gabrielle remained true to what her stated plans. She got a lot written down and caught up on some reading. She actually did wash that shift. She also watched Xena practice and they sparred a little with the staff. Xena was, as usual, the victor, but Gabrielle was getting better. They had a nice swim in the afternoon. Towards evening Xena went to check on her snares, the fire was crackling alive again and Gabrielle was preparing to make dinner. All she was waiting on was Xena and their meal for the day.
The dark tressed warrior came back with two hares, gutted and skinned. She laid the skins aside for cleaning later and strode to the fire. "Why don't you let me cook tonight?" Gabrielle blinked at the odd request.
"Xena, you don't cook. If you can avoid it I mean. I can. . ."
Xena gave Gabrielle a quelling look. "Tonight I will cook. You," she waved Gabrielle away, "go do something else for a bit." Gabrielle stood around indecisively, but got convinced by the look she received from Xena. "Go!"
Gabrielle found herself by the waterside, letting her feet kick through the cool substance. She looked at the rising moon and wondered what Xena was up to. Not much time passed and Xena called her to dinner. Gabrielle grabbed her boots and ran back to the camp.
Her nose twitched at the smell of overly roasted meat and vegetables. Xena smiled and silently handed the bard a plate full of food. Gabrielle returned the smile and sat down. She didn't pay close attention to the plate, because Xena had one that was similarly filled. It wasn't until she put a forkful into her mouth that she realized the subtle difference between her plate and Xena's. She stopped chewing and noticed Xena's even gaze. Xena nodded at her, "Finish your meal love." Gabrielle stared down at her plate. There was a mix of cooked veggies, cooked meat and very very rare meat on her plate. The plate fell from suddenly nerveless fingers. Gabrielle issued a rapid sob and inhaled at the wrong moment. She began choking.
Xena set her own plate quickly aside as soon as she saw the other plate drop and soon had her arms around Gabrielle. She forced the inhaled food out of the woman, then turned the bard around and pulled Gabrielle close. "I know my cooking is bad, but I didn't think you'd choke on it." Gabrielle cried against the warrior's shoulder.
Xena had this so well planned that when it didn't go as expected she wasn't quite sure what to do. But since she was a creative, inventive individual she came up with something quick. She kissed the bard. Gabrielle did exactly what Xena expected her to do. She pushed away. It wasn't that Gabrielle didn't feel the passion. She did. She simply resisted it because she feared where it would lead. But Xena did something she normally didn't do with Gabrielle. She held on.
"Oh no you don't. You want this. I want this. It's going to happen. Tonight." Gabrielle gasped and tried to push even harder. The only thing she managed to do was dent her palms against Xena's breastplates. Xena pulled her inexorably close and pressed her mouth against the bard's. "No more patient waiting Gabrielle. I'm done with that. You are mine."
Gabrielle began to struggle. Xena grabbed her arms and forced them back, and somehow managed to keep contact with the redhead's mouth. She kept her kisses seductive and rough, and held on until she felt the bard's mouth moving in response. She steered in the direction of the bedrolls, with Gabrielle backing up and then down onto the ground. Gabrielle's eyelids grew hooded. "That's it." Xena husked against Gabrielle's lips as she separated the bard's knees with her leg, "let it go. Let it go."
Gabrielle began to moan passionately. Xena's lips trailed a wet path along the bard's jaw line. She mouthed Gabrielle's earlobe and nibbled. Gabrielle's eyes popped wide open.
The bard pushed against Xena and somehow forced the warrior to roll away. Gabrielle opened her mouth to apologize and suddenly realized that she was sporting her fangs. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand, but not before Xena saw. Gabrielle's hazel eyes rolled in shame and she turned and fled. Xena was up and after her in a flash.
It was a merry chase, or it would have been if there hadn't been so many brambles to pass through. Still Xena followed closely, using the moonlight as her guide. Her long legs covered more ground than Gabrielle's and soon she had caught up with her bard. She laughed wildly as she tackled the bard. "Gotcha!"
Gabrielle let out a squealing growl and tried to crawl out from under Xena's weight. "Oh no you don't." The warrior spoke as she pulled Gabrielle closer. "I said tonight and I meant tonight. I will not be denied." Xena captured the terrified, mortified bard's mouth with her lips. She rubbed her tongue against pointed teeth and swirled it with Gabrielle's, causing a low moan to escape from the bard.
Xena's hands roughly felt under the bard's tunic, finding two lovely mounds of flesh to play with. She suddenly realized she was still wearing her breastplates. She leaned back up, but held the bard down with one arm. When the bard struggled to rise, Xena commanded, "Stay." Gabrielle blinked in surprise, but settled down. Then the warrior began releasing herself from the metal breastplate. It clunked heavily to the ground when she tossed it aside.
Xena leaned forward, her hair brushed against Gabrielle's face. "Do you want this Gabrielle? She planted a very firm kiss on Gabrielle's lips. "Tell me." The bard moaned. Xena grinned. "Close enough." The warrior laughed, "I want you so much my bard. I want all of you." She forced the bard's mouth open with her tongue and let Gabrielle hide nothing. One of Xena's hands drifted down the redhead's belly and under her skirt. Her fingers briefly stroked the warm and curly surface of the bard's triangle. She teased her fingers against Gabrielle's wetness. The bard's eyes hooded again. "Give yourself to me." Xena commanded.
What else could Gabrielle do? She surrendered to the more powerful will, opened her legs and raised her hips. Xena's fingers probed her silken swollen wetness, even as her other hand ripped the bard's top away. The warrior's mouth descended on one hyper-erect nipple and she began to play the bard's body like a musical instrument, eliciting noises that Gabrielle didn't even know she possessed. The bard soon lost all notions of staying in control and in time her hips were rocking to the oldest tune in the world. Her mouth was uttering Xena's name against the warrior's shoulder like a wild mantra and her fingernails were clenched in Xena's back as if somehow that would keep the world from falling away from her when she came. Xena most certainly got bit when the final blissful shuddering occurred. The warrior didn't even feel it.
Later, a long time later, they would cover each other's bruises and nicks with kisses. Gabrielle found out that she didn't bite every time she came and that lovemaking ran the gamut from gentle to playful to rough. She also found out that sometimes Xena bit too.
Xena found her edge again. She and Gabrielle worked on trusting their instincts, but Gabrielle did get lectured about not paying attention while she was hunting. Eventually Xena would even accompany the bard, but that took a bit of convincing since Gabrielle was incredibly sensitive about the whole subject. Gabrielle quit trying to second guess *all* of Xena's decisions, which really helped their relationship. Their meals became a little more varied. Gabrielle and Xena continued to mature and improve their skills.
Ephiny was told of Gabrielle's unique condition, but wouldn't hear of letting Gabrielle give up her right of caste. She made a joking comment instead, saying, "Darling, don't you know? All women have fangs." Then she poked the embarrassed bard in the ribs, "Your's are just longer." Then she leaned over and said, "Besides, you are favored of Artemis. No way am I going to screw that up. You are just gonna have to deal."
Ares managed to keep his promise for about two months and then something came up so he began stirring trouble to the northeast. But that's okay, by then Xena and Gabrielle worked things out and were happy.
(c)June 1997