The following is a bit of alternative fiction based on certain characters from the Xenaverse. It is not meant to infringe on anyone else's rights. If you don't agree or disapprove, please go read something else.
Bathing Alert: For those with prurient interests
Fortunately for Eponin, Xena didn't clobber the Amazon when she stepped into the bathing room. Instead, the warrior gave her a frozen look and said, "Why have you followed me here?"
Eponin had a good answer, "Gabrielle sent me. She was worried."
Xena's expression immediately softened and she waved the Amazon to a seat. She began removing her garments and asked, "How's she holding up?"
Eponin pursed her lips, "well, if foul language is any indication, not too well." Xena exhaled a laugh as her shift dropped. It did marvelous things to her abdominals muscles. Eponin pretended not to notice.
The warrior princess lowered herself into the bathtub and sighed with pleasure. "So, what are you doing here?"
Eponin settled back against the wall and stretched out her legs. The palms of her hand rested on the warm stone bench. "Well, technically there are four of us guarding the queen and a few teams of Amazons are here to act as candidates. I followed you for two reasons. One, because my friend was upset and two to act as your coach."
"Oh." Xena began scrubbing down. The skin of her breasts bobbled invitingly in the water. Eponin was hard pressed to ignore the invitation. "Tell me more."
Eponin cleared her throat and looked up at the ceiling. "Cherise mistakenly excluded your name from her list, and that's why you did not receive an invitation."
"And you think I would want an invitation?" The sound of water splashed around the room.
Eponin gave Xena a startled look. "Don't you. I mean. WE thought. I thought you and Gabrielle."
"We are."
Eponin sighed in relief. "Oh, good." She clutched at her chest, her eyes wide. "You had me worried there."
Xena grinned and ducked into the water. When she came back out her hair was luxuriously wet. She poured a little soap and asked. "Since Gabrielle and I are already lovers, why should I be worried about this competition?"
"It determines who her legal consort is. That individual has free access to the queen, where another might not. It also establishes certain legal powers, such as acting council, that another might not have. In the wrong hands. . ."
"It could cause a lot of problems."
Eponin nodded seriously.
"It seems like a ridiculous law. I don't recall Melossa. . ."
"It is a Way way old law. Even we forgot it, but it was right there in the books. When the researchers found it, Ephiny had to go with it. She can't get rid of the law until the next council session and the arrangements for this this fooferah were already in the makings."
"How come Ephiny," Xena began.
"She'd already declared a consort."
"Damn."
"Planning a little vengeance?"
Xena arched an eyebrow and grinned. "Just a tiny bit. But, oh well, I'll think of something."
Eponin made a mental note to warn Ephiny.
"So coach, tell me what I need to know." The warrior began the process of rinsing off.
Eponin grinned, "Well the first thing you need to know about are the challenges. They are based on the four cornerstones of being, Spirit, Mind, Heart and Body." Eponin gazed evenly at the warrior princess. "I don't believe you will have a problem, and certainly most of the candidates will disqualify themselves rather quickly." She shook her head, "Did you see some of our competition? I'm betting that a lot of the nobility will fade right out at the physical challenge. I don't know what Cherise was thinking." Eponin's thoughts came back to her discussion, "Anyway, I can give you the lowdown on what to look for and do. You can pretty well guarantee that most of the Amazon candidates know the score and won't be trying too hard, though they have to give it a sincere effort. If it's not you, we want the consort to be one of our own."
Xena nodded, "understandable."
"Oh, there's one Amazon to look out for," Eponin cautioned. Xena listened carefully as she sponged her arm clean. "Her name's Kalai. She was one of the Amazons who helped," Eponin paused meaningfully, "convince Cherise of her mistake, but she gets a strange look in her eye when we talk about the competition. I think she's taking it very seriously. You should watch out. She's young, but she's wiry and tough, and she's smart. I've seen her on a hunt. She'll keep you on your toes."
Xena grinned, "I'll keep that in mind." Xena finished her bathing and stood up. She looked like an absolute goddess when wet, Eponin thought before she remembered to turn her eyes.
Xena stepped out of the bath casually and grabbed a towel. Her mind was racing with new thoughts. Now that she was a little better informed she believed she knew how to go about handling the situation. She grinned confidently as she wrapped the towel around her body modestly. Then she picked up her leathers. "Eponin, come with me to my room. I want to hear more about the challenges ahead."
Eponin stood up quickly and held the door open. She figured she might as well get in the practice.
ŠJune 1997